Humor New Arrivals

YES! We Have the 2014 Founder’s KBS!

Founder's KBS 2014For months, it lives in the caves beneath Grand Rapids, Michigan, maturing into a monster that spreads both joy and misery each year when it finally makes its appearance in full daylight and rampages across the nation. It is, of course, the incredible Founder’s KBS. The joy it spreads is amongst those who manage to get their hands on a bottle of this limited release brew, which – as Founder’s themselves points out – is by its very nature produced in limited quantities, because of its bourbon barrel aging process. The only misery it spreads is amongst those who don’t manage to score a bottle on release day. While it’s a fantastic beer, one that has repeatedly made it on “Best in the World” lists, its limited release has some unfortunate side effects. It’s rumored that friendships have been torn asunder when one friend secured a bottle, and wouldn’t share with a pal who didn’t. And that exploitative retailers price gouge, charging upwards of twenty bucks a bottle. For us as a retailer, the main frustration is that we are forced to tell our favorite customers – no matter how much we like them – that they are limited to purchasing one bottle.

Well this year, we’ve changed all that.

While supplies last, we are placing NO LIMIT on the quantity you buy, and we’re offering some uniquely foolish pricing. The first bottle you buy is a very reasonable $7.99. For every additional bottle you buy, the price doubles.*

Below, calculate how much your multiple bottle purchase will cost by entering the quantity in cell A2 and hitting “enter” on your keyboard:

Interesting of Founders to choose today, April 1st 2014, as their release day.

For the uninformed, here’s some basic info about this amazing brew.

KBS Bottle
What we’ve got here is an imperial stout brewed with a massive amount of coffee and chocolates, then cave-aged in oak bourbon barrels for an entire year to make sure wonderful bourbon undertones come through in the finish. Makes your taste buds squeal with delight. ABV: 11.2% IBUs: 70. A 100 Score from Beer Advocate, and “Best Beer in the World Awards” from RateBeer and Men’s Fitness.

*Before planning a purchase, please consider the fact that this rather foolish pricing is being offered only on April 1, 2014 😉


How To Avoid a Pumpkin Tragedy

The other day, I witnessed a genuine Pumpkin Tragedy. No, not the kind you see pictured at left; we see those every year around this time. This tragedy was real, and it pained me to see the forlorn look on the customers face when David, the manager, uttered the words “Sorry, we were out of New Holland Ichabod Pumpkin Ale almost as soon as it was in the door”. The poor woman looked like she was nine years old, and just learned that her pet hamster had died. Until, that is, David told her about how she might avert this kind of craft beer catastrophe in the future. He told her about the MainDepotConnection, and how signing up was probably the ONLY way she’d have a chance at purchasing certain limited releases, and in general a pretty good way to at least get queued up to be in the store on limited release items that come in batches larger than a few cases. Sign up today to avert your OWN Pumpkin Tragedy.


25 Craziest Beer Brands And Labels

Crazy Beer BrandsFor an independent beer maker, it’s probably a challenge to cut through the noise of today’s marketplace. Think about it. With literally thousands of beers to choose from, and the incessant marketing chatter of TV, radio, billboards, Twitter, texts, and dozens of tap handles behind the bar vying for your attention, what’s a small independent beermaker to do? Well, first of all, they better make a darn good beer. And then they need to get people talking about it. And although many craft beers create a buzz just by being consumed, the brewer needs to create the other kind of buzz. Which probably goes a long way toward explaining brand names like Old Leghumper, Moose Drool, Yellow Snow IPA, Shaggin’ in the Wood, and Imperial Hopwhore. But beer enthusiasts are a special breed, and although they’re probably even more demanding and discriminating than the typical wine connoisseur, they tend to have a much better sense of humor. There are probably few consumer groups that could recommend a product to their friends called “Arrogant Bastard” or “Hairy Eyeball” without batting a lash. Which probably better explains the preponderance of bizarre, nearly offensive, but always hilarious names of cutting edge craft beers. We’ve rounded up nearly thirty of the craziest brands and labels below. Feel free to share any we missed in the comments.