The other day, I witnessed a genuine Pumpkin Tragedy. No, not the kind you see pictured at left; we see those every year around this time. This tragedy was real, and it pained me to see the forlorn look on the customers face when David, the manager, uttered the words “Sorry, we were out of New Holland Ichabod Pumpkin Ale almost as soon as it was in the door”. The poor woman looked like she was nine years old, and just learned that her pet hamster had died. Until, that is, David told her about how she might avert this kind of craft beer catastrophe in the future. He told her about the MainDepotConnection, and how signing up was probably the ONLY way she’d have a chance at purchasing certain limited releases, and in general a pretty good way to at least get queued up to be in the store on limited release items that come in batches larger than a few cases. Sign up today to avert your OWN Pumpkin Tragedy.

For an independent beer maker, it’s probably a challenge to cut through the noise of today’s marketplace. Think about it. With literally thousands of beers to choose from, and the incessant marketing chatter of TV, radio, billboards, Twitter, texts, and dozens of tap handles behind the bar vying for your attention, what’s a small independent beermaker to do? Well, first of all, they better make a darn good beer. And then they need to get people talking about it. And although many craft beers create a buzz just by being consumed, the brewer needs to create the other kind of buzz. Which probably goes a long way toward explaining brand names like Old Leghumper, Moose Drool, Yellow Snow IPA, Shaggin’ in the Wood, and Imperial Hopwhore. But beer enthusiasts are a special breed, and although they’re probably even more demanding and discriminating than the typical wine connoisseur, they tend to have a much better sense of humor. There are probably few consumer groups that could recommend a product to their friends called “Arrogant Bastard” or “Hairy Eyeball” without batting a lash. Which probably better explains the preponderance of bizarre, nearly offensive, but always hilarious names of cutting edge craft beers. We’ve rounded up nearly thirty of the craziest brands and labels below. Feel free to share any we missed in the comments.

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